What do you crave most?

"One of the reasons we want to overeat is because the human heart craves fullness and satisfaction." Mike Cleveland


This would be the third time I've read this statement and yet again, I am moved to think about why I eat.....or shop.....or talk when I need to just be quiet with the Lord.  


I'm not suggesting that we are called to continually sit with our hands folded in prayer and listen for what God might say.  That would be unreasonable as we all have responsibilities.  However, I am beginning to think that I react to life without a lot of thought quite often.


A reaction looks a whole lot like an addiction as far as I can tell.  It looks like doing something to cover up the uncomfortable feelings that I have inside.  The thing that makes it difficult to recognize is that I've been doing it my whole life.  Every. Single. Day.  For nearly 40 years.


Addiction is often fed by a heart darkened by sinfulness.  I want to continue in my sin.  I do continue in my sin.  I feel guilt/shame.  I indulge in my addiction to cover up that feeling.  Our addictions come in many more forms than the obvious ones.  Most of us fancy ourselves to not be addicted.  I submit that this is far from true.


We're addicted to control in some form or other and when we feel out of control, we indulge in more control.  Maybe we're addicted to scheduling, to cleaning, to exercise, to looking put together, to golf, to food, to shopping, to yelling, blah blah blah.  


It's Jesus I must turn to when I feel out of control.  I need to create that habit as my first defense.  I know that for me, life feels out of control every day.  Multiple times a day.  I must turn to Jesus over and over, leaving those things I can't control at His feet.